What It Means to be a Mentor

Crystal Hill and Katherine Estrada have a 12-year mentorship relationship that is a marker of educational success and potential despite the odds.

Twelve years ago when Crystal Hill first met her mentee, Katherine “Kathy” Estrada, Hill remembers feeling baffled when she asked Estrada what she wanted to do in the future. Her answer? A mom.

Hill met Estrada through a program called iMentor, a non-profit organization that partners college graduates with high school students in New York City aiming to open more opportunities for college success). Estrada was not interested in school or having a mentor, so Hill struggled to connect with her in the beginning.

“She’ll tell you to this day that I called her ‘my little hot mess’ because Kathy wanted to be a mom and I was like ‘You have your whole life to be a mom, what do you mean?’” Hill said in a phone interview with The Intersectionalist. “We struggled but I was consistent. She would sometimes not show up to the [iMentor] events but I would still go. When she saw that I was not giving up on her or going away, she started getting more into the program.”

Hill said that once Estrada let her walls down, they got closer. Estrada started seeing Hill more, bringing her friends over to the program, and eventually, connected with Hill on a daily basis in and out of school. Estrada also started going to class more, getting her grades up, and sticking to her commitments as a national ranking volleyball player.

“By the time she was in 11th grade, she really got her GPA up to the point where she was allowed to take AP Calculus,” Hill said. “I don’t know how you go from getting really bad grades to being in AP Calculus—that’s amazing to me.”

Hill’s journey to becoming Estrada's mentor started when Hill was a mentee herself. Her first mentor was in elementary school, but they didn’t remain in contact, which made Hill feel abandoned. Even though Hill eventually found a more reliable mentor in high school, she vowed that her form of mentorship would be built on trust and consistency.

“I think my favorite part about being a mentor was being able to put her [Estrada’s] walls down,” Hill said. “I could’ve easily been like if she’s not in it, I’m not in it. But I think by showing her the consistency and that I wasn’t going away and that I cared—she trusted me. People from certain neighborhoods and certain environments don’t trust and that’s a common thing. So if you could get someone to trust you and feel like they can be themselves around you, I think that’s a big thing.”

Hill works as a chief people officer at the non-profit organization, AppleTree Institute for Education Innovation, where she specializes in human resources and relations. Her extensive 20 year experience began when her high school mentor provided opportunities involving people operations in the education field. Hill’s profession in education management has allowed her to see the value in equitable opportunities for Black and Brown communities and the ways people of color, like Estrada, can feel supported.

“I think [mentorship] is important in Black and Brown communities because there’s a huge opportunity gap,” Hill said. “We don’t have long lines of college graduates in our family who know what college you go to and how to navigate them. So when you have someone who’s successfully navigated that, you want to share that information with people. That’s where mentorship comes in because people who've been successful in the challenges you’re experiencing can impart that knowledge to you.

Hill’s continuous effort as a mentor, inspired Estrada to also enter the education field and become a teacher for students of color. Up until high school, Estrada said that she didn’t have positive experiences with teachers and would skip school a lot because of it.

“I have this really negative mindset where I say I can’t do things and she let’s me know that I could,” Estrada said in a phone call interview with The Intersectionalist. “I don’t know how to think positive about situations because of what I’ve been through. I strictly go like, ‘Well, this could happen.’ And she’ll look at the bright side and say, ‘What if this happens?’ Everyone needs that.”

Estrada’s first teaching experience started off in an elementary school in Yonkers called Greenberg Grand in 2017. She taught sixth grade English with students who had behavioral issues and struggled with unhousing. Each day was filled with challenges but Estrada said she made it her mission to create a loving space for her students just like Hill had done for her back in high school.

“What she did for me was what I was doing for my students back then,” Estrada said. “It was so hard to even get through a lesson because there was always chaos, but we always try to help our kids and redirect them. It was awesome too though because they’ll give you something you really don’t think you’ll get when you start. They taught me so much and they don’t even know it.”

Estrada worked in Yonkers a year and a half before moving back to Pennsylvania due to a personal emergency. Throughout this transition, Estrada admitted that she didn’t stay in contact with Hill because of the stress from moving and having to transfer to another job. But when she did reach out to Hill, Estrada was able to find a job in a daycare where she teaches early childhood development.

“It feels like we never missed a step,” Estrada said. “She’s always there to help me. Crystal is the only person who’s taught me how to make a resume, she’s my reference for everything, and even if I just need advice on what I should do—that’s who I turn to. I probably wouldn’t even have a job if it wasn’t for her.“

Estrada said she still fondly remembers seeing Hill’s professional development and feeling inspired to enter the education field like her mentor did. Prior to meeting Hill and her favorite high school teachers, Estrada had a different mindset around education. During her formative years, Estrada said kindergarten to second grade were extremely challenging as her teachers would abuse her and other students. Estrada said she lost trust in school figures because of these experiences and struggled with behavioral issues in class as a result.

“They didn’t know why I was such an obnoxious, rude, and disrespectful girl but they never gave up on me because they knew there was more. I appreciated that because there was more,” Estrada said. “So many people gave up on me. There was a point when my parents couldn’t handle it — my teachers and Crystal didn’t give up. My life would’ve just been different without them.”

Hill also considers herself as a mentor for others in her family, but Estrada is the first mentee she’s ever paired up within her profession. She said the experience helped her learn what it means to be a mentor and advises others on how to maintain a strong relationship.

“Aspirations as a mentor are first to create a safe space for your mentee just make them feel like they won’t be judged on what they tell you or what they do, and trust that you’ll give your opinion but support them no matter what,” Hill said. “If I could lend my experiences, my skill set, my ear to somebody so I can help them have a better life — I wanted to do that.``”

Since COVID-19, Estrada has had to remain in Pennsylvania as of now working as a waitress and a daycare teacher. She hopes that after the pandemic, she can dive back into more teaching opportunities and develop more professional goals that can also help her be a mentor for children too.

“Crystal and the mentoring program really helped me tremendously in becoming who I am today,” Estrada said. “They changed everything. My path is different and I didn’t think it would be like that.”